11/02/2026
BY ROYAL PROCLAMATION
THE 2026 NICOLE BIRTHDAY JUBILEE
Dear Esteemed and Exceptionally Fortunate Recipient,
It is with tremendous excitement, considerable ceremony, and absolutely no modesty that we announce the commencement of Nicole’s Birthday Jubilee, a celebration of unprecedented importance spanning the ENTIRE month of November.
While November 21 marks the actual anniversary of Her Majesty’s arrival into this world, it has been determined that a single day is grossly insufficient to recognize such an extraordinary occasion.
Accordingly, all 30 days have been reserved.
As a carefully selected recipient of this invitation, you have been granted the rare privilege of participating in this historic celebration.
Your responsibilities, should you be worthy of accepting them, include:
• Demonstrating appropriate enthusiasm throughout November.
• Offering birthday wishes, compliments, and general admiration whenever the opportunity arises.
• Recognizing November 21 as a day of exceptional significance.
• Maintaining a strictly spider-free environment. This provision is NONNEGOTIABLE.
• Understanding that participation in this Jubilee is a privilege, not a right.
Gifts are optional. Enthusiasm is expected. Gratitude for your invitation is strongly encouraged.
Further royal announcements and ceremonial updates will follow throughout the month.
On behalf of the Birthday Jubilee Planning Committee (consisting primarily of her devoted husband, who apparently has very little say in the duration of birthday celebrations), we extend our congratulations on your selection.
LONG LIVE THE BIRTHDAY QUEEN!
Respectfully and with great ceremony,
Dan
Husband, Chief Jubilee Officer & Acting Minister of Birthday Affairs
Official Office of Nicole’s Birthday Jubilee — Established November 2026