The HOAi

10/26/2026

10/25/2026

Linda checked her mailbox. Paul’s witch interpreted this as an invitation to scream.

The board reminds residents that proximity is not permission. Enrollment in the Seasonal Fright Authorization Program is now open.

10/24/2026

The board has clarified that screaming does not constitute verbal consent.

10/23/2026

The Board would like to remind residents that hummingbird feeding is NOT a competitive sport.

Richard has been advised that excessive nectar distribution may disrupt established feeding patterns and create unnecessary territorial disputes.

We are asking everyone to please act like adults.

Thank you for your cooperation.

10/21/2026

The HOA Board congratulates the Henderson family.

Congratulations do not constitute approval of the gender reveal.

10/19/2026

The Board has nothing but respect for Tyler’s craftsmanship. But when your front yard becomes known as the spiritual gateway to Beaverton, we’re going to need to have a conversation.

10/16/2026

HOA board meeting open forum: Brenda is back with an update on Dale, whose daily Speedo trips to the mailbox have apparently made him a neighborhood celebrity.

The Board has also received reports of three additional pineapple mailboxes.

The situation is developing. Public comment remains open.

10/14/2026

The HOA Board has not established a numerical limit on Halloween decorations.

The matter of acceptable presentation remains under discussion.

10/12/2026

The HOA has confirmed that required seating will not be provided.

10/08/2026

The Board has received a complaint regarding residents spending excessive time at the community mailboxes.

Please collect your mail without appearing to need it.